#  The Priest and the Lady 

 



## Anonymous French Fabliau (13th Cent.)


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He who composed this fiction   
 Has made it altogether new.   
 It happened on a Thursday   
 That a priest, near Lardi,   
 Went off to Etampes to amuse himself;   
 But his amusement came close to harming him,   
 As you will now hear me tell.   
   
 But I want to tell you first of all   
 How a merchant's lovely wife,   
 Who was attractive and courteous,   
 Sent word to this priest -- it is no lie --   
 That her husband one day   
 Had to be out of town on business;   
 Indeed, she told him her whole situation.   
 What more should I tell you?   
 The priest rushed so fast   
 And came so quickly to the lady   
 That he was at the house before prime,   
 Where he was received without any coyness.   
 The maidservant started to get dinner --   
 Meat cooked in a stew, pies with pepper,   
 And good clear wine, healthy to drink.   
 And the bath water was already heated   
 When a devil, a misbegotten spirit,   
 Brought the husband home to the wife,   
 Since he had already finished his business.   
 The horse that gently carried him   
 Brought him right to the gate,   
 Which he found closed fast,   
 For the bar was locked tight.   
   
 Then he spoke and said, "Open   
 Quickly and don't delay in there!   
 Why have you shut the gate on me?"   
   
 And the wife was greatly upset,   
 For she had to open the gate;   
 But first she had the pies   
 Covered with a towel,   
 And then she worked fiercely   
 To hide the priest,   
 Who was very afraid for himself   
 She advised and urged the parson   
 To get into a wicker basket   
 That was set behind the gate,   
 And he, who was in despair,   
 Did not refuse this advice,   
 But got in there, without any help,   
 For he wanted to get out of this mess;   
 But he left his cape behind.   
   
 They hid nothing more nor did anything else,   
 But straightway opened the door   
 For the merchant, who was wasting his time.   
 He came in and looked about   
 Until he saw the bathtub,   
 Where the lady was, stark naked;   
 But he saw no harm in that.   
 Then he got down from his horse,   
 And had it quickly taken to the stable.   
 And he who had no desire to tell tales   
 He who was resting in the basket   
 Where he could neither snooze nor sleep   
 He trembled so violently from fear   
 That he and the basket together   
 Tumbled onto the ground.   
 Those in the house did not see him.   
 When he realized that he had fallen   
 And had not been seen,   
 He went straight into the house.   
 Boldly he spoke out these words,   
 And he did not sound as though he were desperate;   
 Said the priest, "God be in this house!   
 I have brought you back your basket."   
   
 The merchant was greatly surprised   
 When he saw the parson like this,   
 And the lady made him believe   
 That she had loaned it to him;   
 She was as self-assured as you please.   
 "Certainly, I have had a good pledge for it."   
   
 "Lady, you do wrong,"   
 Said the merchant, "when for this you ask   
 His pledge, as if you would not get it back."   
   
 Now the priest is bold in turn,   
 "Lady," he said, "my black cape,   
 If you please, since you made me give it;   
 I have no need to wait any longer,   
 And give me back my towel and my pies."   
   
 "Sir Priest, you are too hasty;   
 You should have dinner with my husband,   
 If you would do him so great an honor."   
   
 And the priest said, "I grant it,"   
 And he was very glad at the outcome:   
 He stayed without much resistance.   
 Next they went to wash themselves and then to eat.   
 The table rested on two cushions;   
 Upon the table were two candlestick holders   
 Where there were two silver candlesticks;   
 Everything was noble and elegant.   
   
 Then they cut up pies and handed them around;   
 The lady and the priest busied themselves   
 In pouring out wine in great abundance;   
 To the lord of the house   
 They gave so much wine to drink   
 And so many pies with pepper to eat   
 That quickly he was dead drunk.   
 He was worth a thousand pounds   
 More than he was in the morning.   
 Then he began to speak Latin   
 And gibberish and German   
 And then Dutch and Flemish,   
 And he boasted of his generosity,   
 And of the terrible deeds of prowess   
 That he used to do in his younger days;   
 The wine had made him the King of France.   
   
 Then the priest said, as I have heard,   
 That he could pick up three people at once.   
 But the merchant denied this   
 And said, "You speak fantasies.   
 Indeed, it could not be done here;   
 You speak fantasies, Sir Priest."   
   
 Said the priest, "I will bet on it."   
   
 "And what will you bet?" he said.   
   
 "A goose," said the priest, "if you are willing."   
   
 "That is foolish, when you talk like that,"   
 Said the merchant, who accepted the challenge.   
 This speech was agreeable to the parson,   
 And it greatly pleased and satisfied him.   
 Then he went to the merchant, and he arranged him   
 All stretched out on the floor;   
 And then he went to get the maidservant,   
 And he placed her upon her lord;   
 To the lady he did such honor   
 That he lifted her dress   
 After he had stretched her out   
 And he entered between her thighs.   
 Through the little opening he entered the belly;   
 There he put his own special ferret;   
 It would be straight to the stew-pot   
 For the poor little hare that this ferret chased.   
 It is very tricky to chase such a hare;   
 It would be easier to catch two rabbits,   
 For this hare is so clever   
 That it could put on a good front   
 If it had a ferret in its nest.   
 From this I return to the merchant,   
 Who was very eager to get up,   
 Since, when the priest pushed and pulled,   
 The merchant said that he was squashing them   
 And that there were two stones upon him,   
 And that the priest was tolling two bells   
 When he did his business.   
 At last he said to the merchant,   
 "Get up, for I could not   
 Lift these three for anything that I could try,   
 And I have worked so hard at it   
 My balls are all sweaty   
 From the labor and the effort."   
   
 Said the lady, "You are not so strong   
 For one who should be as strong or stronger.   
 Now hand over the goose, for that was agreed."   
   
 "Lady," he said, "by a happy chance,   
 If you will wait until tomorrow,   
 You will have a fat one, by my faith."   
   
 Said the merchant, "And I agree,   
 If you will buy it at the market;   
 I have carried a heavy burden.   
 Go with God's blessing."   
 Straightway he went to his house,   
 He who had succeeded so cleverly;   
 It is a matter of buying and selling.   
   
 From this fabliau you can learn   
 That many women are very clever;   
 There are women like this of great trickery.   
 A woman knows much of foxiness   
 When she has served in this way   
 Her good husband by means of her lover.   
   
 *Here ends The Priest and the Lady.*









From Larry D. Benson and Theodore M. Andersson, *The Literary Context of Chaucer's Fabliaux.*

Indianapolis and New York, 1971. Pp. 329-37.